Must Be Santa

One thing about raising a child is that every once in a while, adults will be thrown by how a child interprets the world around him or her.   When Lewis experienced his first Christmas in 1995 at the tender age of 5 months, I was already looking forward to Christmases yet to come that would be filled with all the traditional  hoopla children bring with them to the holidays!

It wasn’t until Christmas 1997 that I realized that many adults assume they know how a child interprets everything that is thrown their way by the media and society.  You see, Christmas 1997 was the year that I was first apprised of the fact that Santa Claus was, likely, a criminal based on his suspicious behaviour in weeks leading up to December 25!

One evening, about 3 weeks before Christmas Eve, I found Lewis — a toddler of 28  1/2 months at the time — huddled under his blankets in bed, holding a small plastic flashlight tightly in one hand and HarleyBear and CinnamonBear in an uncommonly strong bear hug.  I crawled under the blankets with him and whispered, “Lewis, what’s going on in here?  Are you having a party? Am I invited?”

He hushed me quickly.  “Shhhh!” he said with that slight lisp that toddlers sometimes have.  I was quiet and waited a few minutes for details.  None were forthcoming.  Finally, I asked him why we were being so quiet.

“Santa,” he whispered seriously and quickly.

“Oh, honey,” I laughed, thinking that he was waiting anxiously for Santa’s arrival.  “Santa won’t be coming for this many sleeps ….” I counted off the number of days before Christmas.  Lewis looked at me for reassurance and then threw the blankets back, heaving an enormous sigh.

“Are you worried Santa won’t come?” I asked him. 

It was a reasonable question to ask since many parents use the “Santa won’t come if you’re bad” threat and the threat is oftentimes included in many holiday specials, cartoons and songs.  After all, a child can only hear “He’s making his list, he’s checking it twice, gonna find out who’s naughty and nice” before they lend credence to the possibility that behaviour is the determining factor when it comes to receiving gifts from Santa.

“No,” he answered.

“Then what’s got you hiding under the blankets?” I asked him.

“Santa is a criminal,” he said matter-of-factly. 

“Santa is a criminal?” I repeated, stunned by the comment.  How had my sweet child come to the conclusion that Santa was a criminal?  What could he possibly have seen or heard that would lead him to believe such a thing?

“Yes, Santa is a criminal,” he confirmed in that oddly authoritative voice that toddlers have.

I hugged him close, making sure that HarleyBear and CinnamonBear were included in the hug.  I was certain there had to be something he had heard or seen while we had gone about our holiday shopping that had caused this unfortunate — but easily remedied — mix-up.  All I  had to do was figure out what he had heard or seen and the mystery would be cleared up in no time. 

With as much caution needed when dealing with delicate matters, I asked Lewis, “Honey, why do you think Santa is a criminal?”

He looked at me, shocked that I had no idea about Santa’s scandalous and unlawful past.  Surely his mother had an inkling of Santa’s outrageously wicked behaviour.  Alas, his mother — being an adult — was clueless about Santa’s misdeeds and Lewis realized he would have to share what he had deduced from how the media and society had explained Santa Claus to his generation.

“Think about it, mommy,” he began in dead earnest.  “Santa never phones or emails us.  He doesn’t send us birthday cards and he never comes over for lunch.”  While this was true, this certainly couldn’t be the reasons he had for thinking Santa was a criminal!

Lewis took a deep breath, knowing that what he was about to say would change my opinion of Santa Claus for the rest of our lives.  “Mommy, he only shows up one time a year and it’s when everybody is buying presents for everybody.  And he goes to the shopping stores mall and he has elves that go with him and they see what everybody is buying.”  His brow creased with concern.  “And he knows where everybody lives even if you don’t tell him where you live.”

Aha! It was all coming clear now.

“Mommy, Santa comes to the house in the nighttime when we’re sleeping.  If he was a friend, he would come when we’re awake so we could talk.  But he’s not coming to talk, mommy, you know.”  Well, I didn’t know up until that point.   

“And you know what else, mommy?” he continued.  “Sometimes COPS is on television and even the police ask if they can come in a house and then they kick the door down but Santa … he doesn’t ask.  And he gets in houses so he has keys and only people living in the houses are supposed to have keys so this is not good!”  Poor Lewis.  He was so worried about all these clues pointing to Santa’s less-than-stellar reasons for showing up in malls throughout December and visiting children on Christmas Eve.

“And you know what else?”

“No, honey, what else?”

“Remember stranger danger?” he asked cautiously, in case I had somehow forgotten what I had taught him over the summer months.  “Well, I know Santa asks kids for secrets and when they say their secrets, Santa tells them to not tell and so that’s not good.  That’s stranger danger!”

The entire explanation made so much sense and at the same time, it was heartbreaking to see how reality had impinged upon the fantasy fairy tale story we weave for our children about Santa Claus.

I hugged Lewis tightly.  “Lewis, I have to tell you something important.  If Santa was really a criminal, the police would arrest him at the mall … ”

“Not if there are no fingerprints,” he interrupted.  Ah yes, those infamous white gloves of his would certainly make for no fingerprints at break-ins around the world.  I had to think quickly.

“Well, I am going to make sure we tell Santa that if he comes to our house, he absolutely cannot come into our house and he’ll have to leave any gifts on the front porch.  Is that ok with you?”  Lewis’ eyes narrowed.

“Maybe no gifts from Santa is better,” he suggested.  I had to laugh.  So many children see Christmas as a time to get every toy they ever wanted and here was my child, willing to do without those toys in order to maintain the safety of his home and those living in it.  Finally, Lewis agreed that we would tell Santa the next time we saw him at the mall, to leave anything he might bring for anyone in our home on Christmas Eve on the front porch.

And so it was that for Christmas 1997, it was suspected that Santa Claus may indeed be a criminal. 

NOTE:  Read the follow-up blog entry about how Santa Claus became a “person of interest” in time for Christmas 1998.  Coming to this blog later this week.