Trans This and Trans That and Trans Other Stuff

Therians: Individuals who identify as a specific animal and not a human is a different concept than those who consider themselves to be furries which involves animal costume play. The difference is that therians really believe they are not full humans even though their DNA says they are whereas furries know they are playing at being an animal.

Neither therians nor furries are otherkin which are people who identify as creatures from the mythology or pop culture of occasionally from the natural world. In other words, aliens (not the kind that cross the border to gain access to a country legally or illegally), angels, demons, dragons, elves, fairies, horses, foxes, wolves, sprites, unicorns, fictional character, et al.

They are also not the even more rare otherkins who identify as plants, machines, concepts, natural phenomena, or weather systems.

Therians often say they suffer from species dysphoria and feel disconnected from their human bodies.

Species dysphoria involves the belief that one’s body is the wrong species, and they may actually hallucinate, feel, think, or believe they are an animal of some sort. Some with this mental health issue find comfort in a form of transition, usually physical (through costumes) and/or social (how they interact with society).

What this means is that species dysphoria is very real even though being transspecies is not.

But as real as species dysphoria is, I have never seen (thank goodness) someone who identifies as a male canine suddenly lift his leg and relieve himself on a tree or a fence post or the outside wall of a building. I have never seen (thank goodness) someone who identifies as a female feline suddenly relieve herself in a sandbox or in a flower bed and then scratch the area up to cover up what they have just deposited.

I have never attended been to a conference or convention where the building had more than three identifiable restroom facilities: Men’s restrooms, women’s restrooms, and family restrooms. Occasionally I have seen the family restrooms marked as single-use restrooms.

There are no signs with arrows pointing to the room where one will find kitty litter boxes for humans identifying as cats.

Now there are those who claim the decision as to which restroom to use isn’t easy because they don’t conform to the traditional gender identification system but it’s not as difficult as such people claim it is.

If you self-identify as a woman but you, by all accounts, appear to reasonable people as a man pretending to be a woman, use the single-use (or family) facilities.

If you self-identify as a woman but you haven’t had the bottom surgery, use the single use (or family) facilities.

If you self-identify as a woman and no reasonable person would question if you are a woman, use the women’s facilities.

If you self-identify as a man and no reasonable person would question if you are a man, use the men’s facilities.

If you self-identify as a man but feel the men’s facilities must provide a feminine hygiene dispenser just in case you need such a dispenser, use the single use (of family) facilities.

If you self-identify as a man but you, by all accounts, appear to reasonable people as a woman pretending to be a man, use the single-use (or family) facilities.

The individual’s rights only go as far as that person’s nose, and when those rights start infringing on everyone else’s rights, it’s time to make a sound decision that is in the best interest of everyone involved. There is no sense in pushing an agenda so far that someone winds up getting hurt (remember lawsuits hurt).

Keep in mind that therians and otherkins do not insist that society provide species appropriate facilities for them, and it’s because they seem to understand it doesn’t make sense for them to insist on forcing businesses to provide species appropriate facilities for them. After all, how would Health Departments balance transspecies rights against Health Department rules and regulations in restaurants, for example?

I am not a vegan and for that reason, I do not go to vegan restaurants, but if I was invited to eat at a vegan restaurant, I would most assuredly find something vegan on the menu to eat (salads are delicious) and I would keep my non-vegan opinion to myself.

You may not agree with my point of view, and that’s fine. This is, after all, my blog and I am not discriminating against anyone in suggesting solutions to the problems that being transgender or transspecies create for society as a whole. I’m suggesting solutions that creates a sense of well-being and safety for all without marginalizing or minimizing anyone’s feelings.

Elyse Bruce
5 March 2024

Let Kids and Teens Be Kids and Teens

Over the past few years, there has been a great deal of furor regarding gender.  The loudest groups are those who argue that gender is determined at birth and those who argue that gender is a something that is determined after birth, when the individual decides what he or she wants to be.

A baby’s sex is determined at the moment of fertilization. Out of the forty-six chromosomes that make up a baby’s genetic material (twenty-three from the male and twenty-three from the female in a typical situation), only two of those chromosomes (in a typical situation) — one from the male and one from the female — determine the baby’s sex. Two chromosomes. The sex chromosomes.

A Y chromosome creates a boy and an X chromosome creates a girl. The outward sign of gender develops at around nine weeks, but rest assured that long before the outward sign of gender develops, the gender is already determined.

That being said, all embryos begin as females and when the Y chromosome expresses itself, this confirms the embryo is most definitely male.

Interesting enough, peer-reviewed studies have proven that if a man has more brothers than sisters, he is likely to have more sons than daughters, and if a man has more sisters than brothers, he is likely to have more daughters than sons.

The number of men and women in the world is pretty much equal more or less. Yes, men hold a slight lead with 102 men for every 100 women (based on data from 2020).  That works out to be 504 men (50.4%) to 496 women (49.6%) per 1,000 people.  And this is interesting mostly because when it comes to flipping a coin where there are only two possibly outcomes, that nearly 50-50 split happens every single time.  It makes sense it would also happen where gender is concerned. Don’t get mad at me for sharing that with you. That’s what the data bears out as being a fact, and it’s been bearing out that fact since the 17^th century believe it or not.

In a pamphlet published by the American Psychological Association titled “Answers to Your Questions about Transgender People, Gender Identity, and Gender Expression,” it states the following: “Transgender is an umbrella term for persons whose gender identity, gender expression, or behavior does not conform to that typically associated with the sex to which they were assigned at birth.”  That definition is pretty straight forward and clear.  Basically it states that if you feel you are a gender different than your biological sex, you are transgender, but that does not mean you are the other sex.  It means you identify as the other sex.

Basically the knowledgeable opinion of medical researchers and scientists is that biological sex is determined at conception, and gender, which is a social construct that determines behavior, is one that happens after birth.  That being the facts, it means a transgender male is still female despite taking on the social expectations of a male, and a transgender female is still male despite taking on the social expectations of a female.  In other words, a transgender male is not a male and a transgender female is not a female.

If extremists at either end of this discussion would stop long enough to see there is place for both sides to exist and co-exist, life for everyone in the middle would settle back down again.  There would be no need for the insistence on knowing what someone’s pronouns would be as those who took on the social expectations of the gender they wish to present as would lead to everyone using the pronouns that person would expect, with the exception of they/them which isn’t a biological or social possibility.

It’s also time for people to understand that children and teens can be gender nonconforming as they search for a way to express their identity.  Just because a boy likes to bake in the kitchen and isn’t into contact sports doesn’t mean he’s anything other than a boy who likes to bake in the kitchen and isn’t into contact sports.  Likewise, just because a girl likes to climb trees and fails to abide by the social expectations of sugar and spice and all that’s nice doesn’t mean she anything other than a girl who likes to climb trees and fails to abide by the social expectations of sugar and spice and all that’s nice.

What there isn’t is more than two genders.  Even when things go wonky as sometimes happens in nature, a person feels drawn to identify as a member of one sex more than the other.  Even those who say they are bi-sexual have a slightly more identifiable (to them) pull towards one sex or the other. Again, it’s that coin toss moment that determines which side has the stronger influence.

So let’s stop rushing children into making decisions when they are minors with regards to their sexuality and sense of gender.  Let them explore how they feel about traditional and non-traditional roles, and let them make wise decisions instead of pushing them into decisions that could radically alter their lives until the day they die.

If a child asks you, “Am I [opposite biological sex]?” listen to their concerns. Talk with them about the value of being themselves instead of buying into what others are telling them about who they are. Remind them that if a person almost never knows what they want to be when they grow up when it comes to a career, chances are just as high they won’t really know what they want to be until they grow up and decide what they are when it comes to gender. Let them know they can do things that are usually associated with the opposite biological sex without being worried they were born in the wrong body.

What all these arguments about transgenderism and transphobia and all things trans seem to be doing is throwing society backwards to a time when male and female roles were rigidly defined and no one dared to deviate from those inflexible and unyielding roles. Let children and teens be children and teens without forcing the expectation of making a forever life-altering decision that most likely won’t play out well for them later on as they enter adulthood. When they decide for themselves as adults, without interference in childhood, they are far more likely to feel at ease with their decision.

Elyse Bruce
20 February 2024

First Name, Last Name, and Pronouns

Pronouns, non-binary pronouns, neopronouns, and personal gender pronouns (PGPs) are all the rage these days.  For those who may not know, neopronouns are a new category of pronouns that is being used in place of the traditional she and he pronouns used when referring to a human being.

Examples of neopronouns are bun/bunself or kitten/kittenself for those who identify with specific animals, or vamp/vampself or prin/princess/princesself or fae/faer/faeself for those who identify with fantasy characters, or doll/dollself (whatever the doll may be) for those who identify with fashion or action figures.  Of course, there’s also the somewhat popular innit/innits/innitself.

According to the Trevor project, about 25 percent of the LGBTQ community use non-binary pronouns and another 4 percent use neopronouns.  In other words, around 1 in 3 people from the LGBTQ community use non-traditional pronouns.  That means people, regardless of pronouns, non-binary pronouns, neopronouns, or personal gender pronouns have a 30 percent change of unintentionally insulting someone when using any kind of pronoun.  That’s a pretty high percentage for insulting others, intentionally or unintentionally.  It’s too high a percentage for me to be willing to take a risk on.

Clip Art by Vector Toons, CC BY-SA 4.0, via Wikimedia Commons

When someone says, “My pronouns are …” or “My non-binary pronouns are …” or “My PGPs are …” or “My neopronouns are …” I take note to always call that person by their first and last name whenever I speak to them or about them. Some people think that’s rude on my part, but it isn’t.  It’s actually the most respectful way to treat them.

Recently, there was an issue at the Delta Air Lines counter with a transgender actress who was born a biological male who was was sexually attracted to females. The pronouns that person used were he/him.

In 2017, that same person decided to use they/them pronouns because they were non-binary but still sexually attracted to females.

In 2022, that person decided to identify as a transgender woman and to use the pronouns she/her and she stated she was a lesbian (sexually attracted to females).

What this means is that in the space of six years (2016 to 2022), the individual used pronouns and non-binary pronouns to self-identify and at the end of the day, that’s a lot of changes to remember for 30 percent of the people you might interact with over the course of 24 hours who may have traveled a similar path as the transgender actress did.

The person at the counter used both he/him and she/her pronouns when speaking with the individual because visually the person presented as he/him more than as she/her. When the individual stated the pronouns to be used were she/her, the person at the counter corrected the previous he/him error. The transgender actress was still offended and, having watched the attitude, copped big time attitude about the now-corrected error, and escalated the situation that was already addressed and fixed.

What this means is that fixing the issue wasn’t enough as the offense was already taken and the transgender actress was unwilling to accept the correction. Finally, the airline employee behind the counter pointed out that if the transgender actress was going to continue to harangue employees for a problem that had been addressed and corrected, the transgender actress would be asked to leave the premises. If that required being escorted off the premises, that was something the airline employee was able to facilitate for the transgender actress.

The upswing is that the transgender actress made a video of the incident, and when the transgender actress received backlash from followers regarding the transgender actress’s behavior, the decision was made by the transgender actress to delete the video. Since most of the transgender actress’s social media world disagreed with her behavior at the airline counter, she decided to delete the video as if it had never been uploaded by her in the first place.

It was possibly an attempt to buy into the age-old internet saying, “If you didn’t screenshot it, it didn’t happen” otherwise known as dirty deleting.

Before you say, “You’d feel differently if it happened to you,” you should acquaint yourself with a few facts. Because of my last name, for decades there have been people online who don’t know me in person and who disagree vehemently with something I have posted or commented on who have called me Bruce or dude. In their haste to attack, they have only seen what they wanted to see and to that end, it has resulted in being mistaken for a biological male. In return, I have patiently pointed out I am female. 

I have been told I would feel differently on a topic if I was Canadian (I’m Canadian) or if I lived abroad (I have lived abroad in many countries over the years, and currently I am abroad) or if I was the parent of a child with special needs (my now adult XY child is diagnosed with autism as well as a rare, incurable, life-threatening neuromuscular autoimmune disease known as myasthenia gravis) or any number of other things that are completely wrong. So, yes, I know what it’s like to have people mistake your situation for something other than what it is.

It’s also no reason to be so defensive that what matters to you is lost because of the way you choose to react to the situation at hand. If you want to be heard, speak in ways that allow others to hear what you are saying.

But getting back to the original topic, when you hear me call someone by their first and last name, I’m not being rude or judgmental or mean. I have no way of knowing if someone who needs to point out what their pronouns or non-binary pronouns are neopronouns or PGPs are at one point in time hasn’t changed what pronouns or non-binary pronouns or neopronouns or PGPs are to be used at some point in the future.

I am not a mind-reader (I don’t even pretend to be one on stage or television) and a lot of times, presentation is such that it can be next to impossible to know what pronouns or non-binary pronouns or neopronouns or PGPs are preferred by each individual you may meet throughout any 24-hour cycle.

By using a person’s first and last names, I am making sure I don’t accidentally use the wrong pronouns or non-binary pronouns or neopronouns or PGPs when speaking with someone, and I am avoiding a long, drawn-out, completely preventable situation from becoming a dramatic escalation of outrageous proportions.

As for demiboys or demiguys or demigirls (those who may or may not identify as another gender in addition to feeling partially that other gender), that’s a topic for another day.

Elyse Bruce
2 January 2024